Closer Than Close
by xX-Misty
Summary: Femmeslash. Alex has been stuck in the real world and parted from Gene for so long she seeks one night of warmth and comfort from her closest friend. Missing Scene from What Do You Want From Me? and tying in with Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? - see author's note for explanation
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I didn't think I would ever have the nerve to post this. Actually, at the end of last week I was thinking seriously of deleting everything and leaving FFnet. That's why I took a couple of days away. Sometimes bad associations get transferred onto the wrong thing and that's what happened with me and writing. I already felt like an outsider in the fandom but in the midst of a traditionally difficult week became convinced that everything I wrote was of the same quality standard as one of Geoff's bed baths. When I got my muse back two years ago I was just writing for me and what I thought was fun. I'd lost sight of that, become bogged down with what I felt I was *supposed* to write, became very despondent at lack of reviews and felt that there was no point writing because no one was enjoying it any more. I'd forgotten something important - that writing is supposed to be fun and as long as I was enjoying it then there was a point.**_

_**I wrote the first half of this for someone several weeks ago :) She told me to think about posting it and I said I never would because I was too scared. But then we slowly went insane and things became CANON and suddenly here I am… So yeah; finished, cleaned up and ready to post, this works as a missing scene from What Do You Want From Me? that *I* knew in my head happened but didn't write about (I do that a lot!) but fits better after yesterday's chapter of Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? ('Hot Faces & Warm Nights').**_

_**Yes, this is femmeslash, yes it involves Alex with an OC. Yes, I am probably stupid for posting this. But life's too short. Don't like it? Don't read it. Hell, I finally wrote Galex and no one even noticed so hopefully this will slip under the radar too ;D**_

_**Dedicated to Rant for forcing me to captain my ship :)**_

_**~xXx~**_

"Kim, you don't have to hide it, you know."

Kim glanced up at Alex.

"Hide what?" she asked.

"I can see what you're doing," Alex told her.

Kim wasn't sure what she meant. She was reading the TV guide but that was about all.

"I was only seeing if there was anything on that didn't involve beards," she protested, but Alex shook her head.

"The bump," she said quietly, her expression full of fondness and compassion. Kim froze as Alex's stare caught hers. She felt her cheeks beginning to redden as she looked down.

"I'm not hiding anything," she lied.

"Kim, listen," Alex moved across and sat beside her with one hand on her own rounded belly as her baby turned and protested at being jostled, "there's no need to be embarrassed or ashamed."

"I'm not," Kim said awkwardly.

"It's beautiful," Alex said gently.

Now Kim _knew_ that her cheeks had turned a violent shade of red. They burned and stung as the blood rushed to them with urgency and without thinking she hunched forward a little to hide her bump more.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"What are you even apologising for?"

"I don't know," Kim bit her lip and swallowed. She felt her heart racing and there was a nervous feeling running through her body as she said quietly, "I… I just…" she couldn't look Alex in the eye. "I-I feel like I'm huge," she whispered, ashamed, "I'm only twelve weeks."

"You know you show faster after the first one," Alex reminded her quietly, "you've been there before, haven't you?" Kim nodded silently, not wanting to meet Alex's stare, "it's natural, Kim. It's a good thing. It means your baby's growing well."

"It means I ate too much at Christmas," Kim mumbled, aware that she'd carried a little extra weight for a few weeks and suddenly felt more self-conscious of that than ever.

"_Kim,"_ Alex's tone was different now. She spoke to her seriously, determined not to let her carry on feeling that way, "you're blooming. You're _beautiful_. If Robin was here he'd tell you the same thing." She started to regret her words as she saw Kim's expression change and sadden. "Oh, _no_, I'm sorry," she whispered, I didn't mean to upset you. I know how much you want him to be here with you right now."

Kim tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it.

"It's OK," she said quietly.

"I wish he was here with you, too," Alex told her.

This time Kim managed a tiny, sad smile.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"It's hard," Alex said quietly. She found her own expression falling and looked downward. "Being apart from someone when they should be sharing this with you."

Kim's heart began to sink even deeper as she saw Alex's face fill with sadness.

"Oh Ma'am," she whispered, "It's so unfair, for _both_ of us. You should be back with Gene. He should be helping you through this."

Alex managed the saddest of smiles.

"I wish that he was," she whispered, "but, I promise, you've been doing a good job of filling in."

Her eyes were still cast downward so she didn't have the opportunity to see Kim's cheeks start to redden for a second time. Kim stared on as, to her shock, Alex slowly peeled up her top. Quite suddenly her growing belly was there on display and Kim felt her body doing things that she couldn't seem to control. Oh _god_, what was this? An overwhelming wave of attraction washed over her from head to toe as she shuffled forward just slightly and focused on her beautiful, changing body. She'd stood by, watching Alex grow for the past three months but now she could see the changes in all their beautiful glory. There were words forming in her mind and she tried to keep them in… she did all that she could but eventually they escaped from her lips.

"You're beautiful too," she breathed, immediately wanting to take it back. She looked back up to Alex' s face in alarm, terrified that she would react badly to her words but her own eyes were still low and sad.

"Sometimes," Alex whispered, "I just wish that he was here. To touch me. To feel it. Sometimes I worry that it's not real… if I'm the only one who knows what it's like." She began to move her hand back and forth across her rounded stomach, a motion that hypnotised Kim into a trance of desire. "I sometimes…" Alex closed her eyes, almost on the verge of tears, "just want to feel… to feel his touch." She paused long enugh to swallow and to take in a slow, deep breath, "to be touched."

Kim found herself running her tongue along her lips involuntarily. Oh _god_, she knew her thoughts were heading into dangerous territory but her eyes had been moving back to the spot over and over until she just couldn't stand it any more and she needed to know how it felt. It had always been a secret fantasy of hers; to feel the beautiful, swollen belly of another pregnant woman. Perhaps it was the loneliness or the worry, or perhaps it was the fact that she felt closer to Alex than ever but she couldn't hold back as her fingers nervously stretched forward and skimmed the taut skin that stretched across her burgeoning belly. The sound that drew from the woman she'd looked up to and admired for so many years came as a shock to her and so did the look on her face.

"Ma'am?" she whispered.

Alex swallowed as her lip trembled and she shuddered at the touch. Electricity flowed from Kim's fingertips. What the hell _was_ that? It startled her and made her flinch a little. How long had it been since anyone had touched her? Oh far, far too long. She had been starved of tenderness and intimacy, and that was something Alex craved in abundance .After spending so long with Gene she was used to physical contact and affection as often as possible. She'd had none since the day she'd faded from his world. Now as she caught Kim's eye she began to feel a quiver in her chest as her hart started to do things she wasn't expecting; thumping out a rhythm, doing loops in her ribcage, sending her into a spin. She saw Kim looking anxious and as she moved backwards, terrified that her touch had offended Alex, she found herself blurting out words that she hadn't expected to say.

"Please, don't move away, Kim," she whispered, "not tonight."

Kim questioned her with her eyes. She hadn't expected to hear that tone in Alex's voice or see that expression on her face. It certainly wasn't a look she was used to seeing. Not aimed in her direction, anyway. Alex's deep, demanding eyes caused something to stir deep within her that had lain dormant for such a long time. She recalled the allure of Alex's strong personality and striking appearance that had captured her attention back in Gene's world. It was a crush she had always bluntly denied when Simon asked if she had any feelings towards her and Kim's no-nonsense tone had always cut down his questions in an instant. He'd continued to ask every now and then as a method of winding her up, but her straightforward denial had stopped him suspecting the truth. In fact, never once had she admitted it to anyone. Not even to Robin – and he _had_ asked. In truth she was a little embarrassed; it had always seemed so clichéd, the young detective falling for the mature, powerful DCI. But that was a long time ago and between them the balance of power was almost even now.

She stared at her. Alex's expression was nervous but she seemed to be urging Kim on. What did she want exactly? Kim swallowed, afraid she was reading the signs wrong. After all she'd never seen Alex show any sign of interest before. Well, other than the dare. But that _was_ only a dare. Although, it hadn't even been Alex's dare and yet she was the one who –

Kim blinked to stop her train of thought. It was something she had gone over and over in her head for years since it happened and always reached the same conclusion; that she was just clutching at straws by hoping that it meant a little more to Alex than simply completing a dare.

But again; it wasn't even her dare. Shit, why was that fact suddenly so much more important than all those times she'd replayed their momentary locking of lips before? The same lips that she couldn't take her eyes away from now. The same lips that seemed to quiver as she watched. The same lips that Alex's tongue skipped around as her eyes fixed on Kim and reflected something that Kim had never seen in them before. Perhaps she was deluding herself; maybe she was only seeing what she wanted to see but she couldn't deny that it looked a whole lot like lust.

Biting her lip, Kim nervously stroked her fingers against the dome of Alex's stomach, watching her reaction carefully. There was movement and wriggling beneath the palm of her hand as she laid it flat to her belly and her eyes rose once again to meet Alex's stare. She didn't think she had ever seen Alex looking so nervous and yet need anything this much. As she watched, Alex moved towards her very slowly on the couch, just an inch or so. It made Kim's hand start to tremble as she tried to work out what Alex was trying to tell her.

"_Ma'am?"_ she whispered.

Kim felt Alex's hand clasp firmly over hers and move it across her stomach, curving around its shape, sweeping across her smooth skin. As Kim felt a tingling down at her groin, her own baby had to fight for space with the butterflies that suddenly filled her tummy. Alex's hand guided Kim's more firmly across her skin and her tongue ran around her lips, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Kim who looked at her curiously. She watched her part her lips just slightly to exhale at the sensation of Kim's touch. _Oh_, it had been _so long_ since anyone had touched her. She missed the intimacy and the passion she shared with Gene terribly. She was a passionate woman and she needed to feel wanted, needed to feel desired.

Alex's heart was going at double time. She swallowed and tried to beat down the nervous energy that built in her chest as she focused on Kim's face, on her questioning eyes and her lips; the same lips that looked so inviting and without thinking she found herself leaning forward. Her nerves almost stopped her but she fought them back to steal a soft, sudden kiss from Kim. The kiss took the breath from her body as Alex breathed her name. When she drew back her nerves came flooding back to her but as Kim's shaking hand reached out to cup her face and pull her close again it was the most alive that she had felt in so very, _very_ long, and her soul was set aflame as for the first time she heard Kim call her by her name.

"_Alex..."_ she breathed before she pressed her lips hungrily against those she used to stare longingly at across the office so many years ago.

Somehow that one word set off something inside of Alex. She never heard Kim say her name, it had always been 'Ma'am'. But this was different. It was as though right then, maybe just for one night, they were different people.

"_Kim,"_ she whispered as she leaned towards her, this time pushing her lips harder against Kim's waiting pair, daring to dip her tongue slowly into Kim's mouth and groaning as she felt her underwear starting to dampen beneath her.

She felt Kim reciprocate and their tongues locked and battled with one another until Alex felt her gently bite her lip which caused her to draw breath in surprise. What was this woman _doing_ to her? One moment all she'd wanted was a little human contact, a little intimacy, and now suddenly she found herself wanting more. No, _needing_ so much more.

She gave a moan of distress as Kim pulled back and broke the kiss. She opened her mouth slightly to ask what she was doing but saw a nervous look on her face.

"Ma'am, are you _sure?"_ she whispered as though terrified of pushing things too far, "I mean, I didn't know that you… you never said, or –"

"Call me Alex," Alex begged her with a longing stare, _"please?"_

Kim felt a shiver travel down her spine. Her tongue skipped around her lips and she swallowed, her nerves making her twitch as the anticipation caused a warm tingle to spread through her body.

"_Alex,"_ she whispered, "Have you ever… before…" Kim tried to ask but her words weren't coming out right, "I mean, with another woman?"

Alex didn't want to go into that. She didn't want to think about missed chances and nerves that stopped her from acting on curiosity and attractions in the past. Those were the acts of a different Alex, a nervous and reserved Alex before she spent time in a world where she learned to relax and to open up because – as she found out – no one else was responsible for her happiness. Just her.

"_Don't ask me,"_ she whispered, _"just show me how."_

Kim stared at her, terrified of making a move too far and scaring her, petrified that they could ruin the closest friendship that she'd ever shared with another woman. But with hormones running wild and a look of deep need and desire in her eyes Kim couldn't fight her urges and cupped Alex's face between her hands to pull her back for another kiss.

This time there was no hesitation. The kiss was bold and desperate from the beginning and only deepened as the seconds passed. Kim's fingers moved upwards, entwining themselves in Alex's hair, holding her close as years of distant fantasies and admiration from afar actually became reality.

Alex grew braver as Kim's lips stole her fear away from her and she reached out to run her fingers through Kim's blonde crop; tugging a little at her short hair, using it to pull her closer while exacting a gasp from her lips. Slowly her hands moved downward; they skimmed the soft skin of Kim's face and came to rest around the neck of the shirt she was wearing, the one she'd borrowed from Robin's wardrobe to hide her changing figure. She moved back slowly, reluctantly breaking the kiss to rest her forehead against Kim's then took a deep breath, determined not to let her nerves get the better of her now. She cursed her shaking fingers as she fought with the top button but once the first was open the rest came a little more easily. One by one she unfastened them, her eyes fixed upon Kim's gaze, never flickering for a second. As she slipped the final button free her fingers moved towards Kim's decorated skin. There was a full canvas to explore.

Her hand moved gently around the sides of Kim's ribcage, scared of hurting her healing bones, and settled on the clasp of her bra. She unhooked it quickly, surprised at how easily she was able to do it from different angle than she was used to, then pushed back the soft cotton of Robin's shirt to let it fall from Kim's shoulders, down her arms and finally to the ground. As Alex's eyes moved hungrily down her body Kim seemed to freeze. There was a sudden look of panic on her face. It made Alex hesitate – Kim wasn't the one she had expected to hold back

"Did I do something wrong?" she whispered anxiously. She watched as Kim pulled the fabric of the shirt around her waist with a look of mortification on her face and Alex felt her heart sink terribly as she came to realise what was wrong. "Oh _Kim,"_ she said, trying not to let her voice grow too sympathetic in case she mistook it for pity, "Kim, _no,"_ she found herself reaching out towards her belly, her eyes dropping low, "I meant what I said; it's _beautiful."_ She dropped her voice, unsure whether to let the words out or to keep them back but something burning between her legs did the talking for her. "_You're_ beautiful." She wished that Kim could believe it.

She pressed her hand to Kim's stomach and saw her flinch and pull away. She wasn't going to be dissuaded by that, placing her hand back against it again, feeling the soft, warm flesh against her fingertips. She could feel the gentle hardening that had begun and the slight unevenness of her skin where the heaviest of her ink lay. She saw Kim draw back again just a little and try to pull in her tummy but Alex shook her head.

"_Stop it,_ Kim." She said, her voice but a whisper, "stop worrying and start listening to me." She felt as though the skin beneath her hand almost burned her fingertips, as though some kind of contraband; touching was forbidden but she found herself unable to resist. Her eyes rose to meet Kim's as she pressed against her swelling stomach a little harder and traced a finger around the edge of her tattoos. "_Look_ at me. Does it look as though there's any part of you that doesn't make me want to touch you, Kim? Do I look as though you're not –" she swallowed, fire building inside of her as her fingers tingled with anticipation, "as though you're not the most beautiful –" she felt lost for words. She couldn't express the way touching Kim's body, feeling her warm breath on her skin, watching her cheeks flush with pink made her feel.

Still scared and self-conscious Kim suddenly grasped Alex's hand. She tried to move it to a place she felt less insecure about on her body but Alex moved it back.

"Don't," Kim whispered, the emotion in her voice almost breaking up her words, "I'm so –"

"_Stop_ it, Kim," Alex told her.

"But my _body –"_

"_Stop it,"_ Alex looked her square in the eye, "Just stop it," she whispered, and as she saw Kim open her mouth to begin protesting again she silenced her in the only way she knew how, by forcing her lips together once again and starting a deep, impassioned kiss that stole her breath away.

Kim groaned and writhed a little as she grew wetter and hotter down below. She found herself trying to grind against the couch, becoming more aroused as Alex's tongue dipped into her mouth and battled against hers. This time when she felt Alex's hand move across her stomach she didn't push it away, distracted instead by a kiss that was becoming stronger and hungrier with every moment that passed. In the back of her mind her worries remained and she still felt the urge to push her away - she had so many issues with her body stemming from Linda's cruel jibes going back over years and years of her life – but the gentle touch of someone for whom she'd held a secret flame for such a long time helped to move them aside.

As Alex's hand moved upwards and firmly took hold one of her breasts, Kim had to break the kiss to throw back her head and give a gasp of sudden desperation, yearning for more. She felt surprised by the confidence that Alex showed as she took charge to give Kim limitless pleasure; dropping a trail of hot kisses against the side of her neck, journeying down to her chest where she ran her tongue across Kim's nipple and paused for a moment to take in the piercings that she wore so well. She flicked her tongue around the metal before taking it gently between her teeth and pulling it softly.

"Oh _god_, Alex, please don't stop," Kim begged. The sensations that Alex's touch caused were rendering her useless, turning her body into a quivering wreck as she found herself slowly leaning backward until she lay across the couch with Alex's face above hers. There was a smile across it; a genuine, warm and loving smile. It was the first time Kim had really seen her smile since the day she awoke.

She straddled Kim, pausing to pull her own top over her head so that only her bra remained between them and leaned down to share another of those kisses, this time more forceful and desperate than before. She felt Kim's fingers reach around her where they unfastened her bra with speed and Alex had to pull away for a moment so that she could let it fall to the ground.

As she sat upright Kim's hands gripped her hips before moving slowly around to caress the ball of her belly which made Alex gasp and whimper. It was such an erotic moment, something she could never have imagined from any other night – there was something wild and wicked in the air that neither could have fought, even if they'd wanted to. She knew that this wasn't enough. She needed more. She needed to experience everything that she possibly could, so she gently climbed down from Kim, much to her friend's distress, and silenced her with one yearning look before she grasped the top of Kim's trousers and began to slide them down, over her hips and away from the patterned skin of her legs.

She could already see the damp patch that had soaked through Kim's underwear. Just the sight of it set Alex's in the same condition.

Kim sat upright and reached for the top of Alex's maternity trousers as she stood beside her. She quickly pulled them down - thanking heaven for the elasticated waistband that cut down the removal time by half. As Alex kicked them away Kim's eyes moved hungrily to her underwear. She slipped her fingers just inside the top, ready to pull them down, stopping at the last moment to lean forward and place a kiss on the outside. She saw Alex's legs wobble as her knees went a little weak and she heard her whisper something that she couldn't quite make out.

She stared up to Alex's face, the same face whose beauty she'd looked upon through her tempestuous year in another world. She had never thought she'd have the opportunity so get this close to her; to share something so fiery or so intimate. As she slowly pulled down the silken underwear that stood between them she saw nerves cross Alex's face for the first time.

"Alex, are you sure?" she whispered.

Kim saw her nodding.

"God, yes, I'm sure," she whispered.

Kim's eyes focused down below as she reached forward to run her fingers over the soft, neatly trimmed strip of hair she found before her. She felt her heart racing as she leaned forward, tilting her head and dipped her tongue into to the hot, slippery patch of wetness that had been building from the moment Kim first dared to touch her belly. Oh _god_, she was so wet – Kim gave a groan as she gripped Alex's hips to hold her still and ran her tongue back and forth, tickling her clit then dipping in deeper for another taste of her. The motion repeated, over and over. She tasted so good, so _fucking_ good that it was getting harder to resist touching herself. The thought that she'd caused such a strong physical response from Alex was incredibly arousing and before she knew it one hand left Alex's body to venture down between her own legs where she rubbed back and forth against her fingers with every lap of her tongue.

"Oh _shit_, I'm going to fall over," Alex whispered as she stumbled slightly and propped herself against the wall with one hand. A momentary smile and laugh passed between them.

"On the couch," Kim demanded, moving up to one end to give her room. Alex sank onto the soft cushions, a hand cradling her stomach as Kim began to push her back but Alex blocked herself and shook her head.

"What have you still got _those_ on for?" she demanded as she reached for the top of Kim's knickers. They were wet to the touch and it seemed pointless to keep them on. She started to tug at them and Kim stood up so that she could remove them properly. In a moment of impulse Alex threw them across the room which brought a surprised giggle from Kim before she sank back onto the couch and pushed Alex back again.

"Lay down,." She whispered and Alex did as she was told.

"You know, I don't usually take orders from detective inspectors –" she began cheekily but her words were halted as Kim swiftly slipped two fingers inside of her and she gave a throaty cry of surprise. Kim looked at her anxiously.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" she whispered, all too aware how sensitive and squashed everything became as pregnancy wore on but there was a look of only pleasure across her face.

_"Shit,_ no," she breathed, "oh god, Kim, _please_…"

With her head pressed back against the arm of the couch she began to turn it from side to side as Kim's fingers curved inside of her, sliding in and out at a leisurely pace that drove her slowly insane. How long had it been since she'd been touched? How long had it been since she'd felt the slow approach of orgasmic pleasure? Shit, it had been months her body was screaming for release; she ached for it and burned for it. Her muscles clenched around Kim's fingers as her speed began to increase, pulling all the way out for a second to entice a grunt of anguish from Alex before they slipped back inside and caused her hips to buck and raise right off the couch.

While she worked inside of Alex with one hand she licked her fingers on the other and began to move them smoothly across her clit, building up the sensations inside and out. She progressed to using her thumb against Alex on the outside, pressing it hard into her, moving it around in circles, then back and forth; the motion and speed increasing as the slick wetness made it easier to work against her.

Alex's face grew flushed; a red hue spread across her cheeks and travelled down her neck where the hat and perspiration settled across her chest. She groaned and grunted as Kim's fingers found a faster pace, then opened her eyes for a second to see the look of concentration and pure arousal on her face, determined to bring Alex the pleasure that she had dreamed of for so long. She'd played this through in her mind so many times. She could scarcely believe that it had become reality and that Alex was there in front of her, her juices smeared across Kim's hands as her moans changed pitch, became much higher and more urgent and with a final cry of surprise her orgasm caught her unawares as Kim pushed her right over the edge.

Kim felt Alex tighten around her fingers as she came; the waves of pleasure wracking her whole body, her rounded stomach tightening with her climax as everything pulsed and twitched. Her cries and gasps were loud and urgent and brought a wild and wicked grin across Kim's face. Oh _god_, how she'd wanted to give her pleasure. How she'd wanted her to feel that good. She deserves it, she deserved every _moment_ of it. Kim slowly slipped her fingers from inside Alex and brought them to her mouth where she carefully licked them clean, tasting the pleasure that she'd given to someone with whom her bond had deepened beyond all expectation.

"You taste so sweet," she whispered, which brought a groan from Alex whose orgasm was fading and whose body lay back to recover from the intense sensations that she'd experienced.

"Oh _god,"_ she whispered, laying one arm across her brow, "oh my word, Kim, that was -"

"_Shhh_," Kim slowly moved along the couch until her face was directly above Alex, "rest."

"But you –"

"I wanted to do that for you," Kim whispered as she came to lay beside her with their bellies pressed together, Alex's clear bump pushing Kim's slowly growing stomach out of the way. It was a squeeze to fit on but they somehow managed it without Kim plummeting to the floor. She ran her sticky fingers along Alex's cheek before tracing the shape of her jaw, sweeping them across her soft skin with a peaceful smile. "I've wanted to do that for you for… for years and years…" she stared into Alex's eyes and watched them smiling back at her. She couldn't quite believe what she had done. She couldn't believe she'd had the _opportunity_.

She felt a hand moving gently along her side and a moment of panic washed over her again. Her body image was so low that she dreaded every touch in case Alex found something that repelled her. She worried that her skin was too slack from having her children and her hips carried a little extra weight where living with Robin had meant a constant supply of good food but if she would have only listened then Alex would have told her that her fears held no water. Kim's curves excited her and drew her in. The feeling of her hipbone dipping into her waist and the gently protruding curve of her swollen abdomen as her baby grew was the most luscious sensation which tantalised her fingertips and she couldn't get enough. The only thing that disappointed Alex was that their close proximity to one another meant she couldn't see the beautiful art across Kim's body, only feel it as a subtle difference in skin tone on the areas where the needle had worked its magic the most.

Her hand graced the curve of Kim's stomach and she looked her deeply in the eye.

"I wish you'd believe you were beautiful," she whispered and hated to see Kim's eyes turn away. She knew that, however many times she could say it, Kim would never believe it. That broke her heart.

Her hand wandered lower and dipped between Kim's legs unexpectedly which brought a gasp of shock and passion from Kim.

"_Jesus,"_ she gasped, looking back at Alex in shock. She'd thought their excitement was over for the evening, with Alex visibly drained from her climax and so new to the experience that she hadn't expected her to reciprocate. "Ma'am, you –"

"_Alex,"_ Alex corrected.

"Alex," Kim whispered. She looked her in the eye. "You don't have to –_shit!"_

Fingers that moved inside of her stole the end of her sentence away and she felt herself dampen instantly. Her whole body jolted as it stared to sink in that Alex was touching her – _Alex_, 'Ma'am', DCI Drake; the stunning woman whose smile brightened the dark corridors of the nineties and who'd set Kim's heart fluttering more than once. The number of times she'd taken those thought secretly to bed with her as she'd bunked down on Simon's couch for all those months... Now they were becoming a reality.

Alex felt nervous as her fingers explored Kim. She wasn't sure what Kim liked, what would give her the most pleasure. She started with one finger, sliding it inside of her and moving it gently around, but although Kim wriggled and her breath picked up pace it wasn't the reaction Alex wanted so she withdrew it and slipped two in the next time. This time her gasps were louder and she could see from her closing eyes that they brought her sensations that were driving her wild.

"_Shit, Alex,"_ she breathed, slowly moving her hips against them, forcing Alex's movements a little harder and encouraging her to be bold in her actions. Alex forced her lips against Kim's as she groaned and gasped to steal a forceful kiss that ended with her teeth around Kim's lip. She began to gain confidence quickly. She knew that she had to take the opportunity to show Kim exactly how beautiful she was. She made the girl give an angry grunt as she withdrew her hand but before Kim could complain she reintroduced it with three fingers this time and the reaction was immediate and strong with Kim's hips jumping and jolting so hard that Alex feared she was about to fall off the couch.

_"Shit!"_ she cried "Oh fuck… _fuck me!"_

Kim's words brought a burning blush to Alex's cheeks.

"What was that, Kim?" she whispered against her ear.

"Fuck me," Kim breathed as Alex's fingers forced themselves deeper and harder inside of her.

"I can't hear you," Alex breathed.

_"Fuck me,_ Alex, _please_," Kim cried, almost weeping with need and urgency while Alex's fingers struck gold deep inside, locating her G-spot either through luck or judgement. As soon as Alex felt that hardened spot she knew what she had to do and rubbed her fingertips back and forth against it, causing Kim to screech and gasp louder, wilder and with more desperation until her whole body convulsed wildly and a gush of liquid accompanied her forceful climax. Alex gasped in surprise and withdrew her fingers which simply released a little more and lengthened Kim's orgasm as it wracked her body with shakes and jolts until the aftershocks slowly started to fade and she lay there, her vision blackened with the power of her climax and her whole body weak and hot. She breathed in deeply, trying to return the oxygen to her body and finally opened her eyes, looking up at Alex's gaze with awe and amazement.

_"Shit,_ Ma'am," she whispered, "you… you have no idea.. how much…"

"I think I do," Alex cut her off as she cupped her face and pulled her in for another kiss, this time softer; more gentle and full of close, tender care. When it ended they stared at one another, neither believing what had passed between then, a smile of warmth and happiness on both their faces for the first time in so very long. Alex's fingers ran down the side of Kim's face as she stared. She blinked and took a deep breath, still exhausted from her own orgasm, and her adrenaline was flowing from the pleasure she'd give Kim. She felt so tired now, she wanted so much to close her eyes and slip into a deep and peaceful sleep, but she didn't want to do so alone.

"Kim?" she whispered.

Kim looked at Alex as her fingers gently rose to her cheek.

"Yes?"

Alex found herself biting her lip nervously. She had a big ask and she wasn't sure if Kim would agree.

"I'm so tired," she whispered.

"You sleep now, Ma'am," Kim whispered.

Alex's smile was nervous.

"Would you," she whispered, "take me to bed with you?" She caught the look of surprise in Kim's eyes, "please? Just for one night… let's not wake up alone tomorrow."

Kim stared back, the love and compassion that passed between them whether as friends or as lovers for a night warmed her from the inside out. The smile that grew on her face showed Alex that she need not have worried. Kim would never have said no.

"_One night,"_ she whispered. Slowly and shakily she climbed down from the couch and held out her hand. Alex returned her smile and allowed Kim to help pull her upright, then to her feet. As she followed her to bed it was the first time since she'd woken that Alex felt loved. It was the first time she felt safe and warm. The first time she felt _alive._

That one night had given her the strength to keep on fighting, and Kim's warmth and compassion would never be forgotten – neither would a single glorious moment of their night together.

**X**

"_I don't regret it,"_ Kim had whispered as they awoke the following morning

"_Neither do I,"_ Alex told her softly.

And, of that fact, neither woman ever changed their mind.


	2. Chapter 2: The Morning After

_**A/N: So this was supposed to have been a oneshot which I also thought was more or less fic suicide but I didn't get the hate I was worried about and a couple of people actually put it on alert which made me think about writing the morning after. And somehow it happened, and…fluff? Not sure how that happened. Must be in love or something :)**_

_**I have no idea if this is going to stay as a two-shot or if I'm going to get inspired to write any more, but if you enjoyed it and you'd like to see another part let me know, it'll help!**_

**~xXx~**

**Part 2**

It was the first time that Alex had awoken to a warm bed and a warm body by her side in three long months. She murmured gently as she stirred and slowly opened her eyes. It took her a few seconds to get her bearings; she wasn't completely sure where she was but as soon as the patterned skin on Kim's back came into focus the previous night came rushing back to her. She felt warmth in her cheeks and knew she was blushing. There was a part of her that couldn't believe what she'd done, and another part of her that had wondered why it had taken so long. It wasn't as though she'd never thought about it. She supposed she had just been used to burying those thoughts out of reach.

There was a niggling feeling of guilt in the back of her mind. She knew that neither of them could say for sure whether they would ever be reunited with their partners but at the same time she knew that she would have to face the music with Gene if she ever found her way home. She wasn't sure how he would take it. It could go one way or the other. He could be as angry as an alligator or he might be so distracted by the idea of Alex indulging in a bit of sapphic gratification that he might fully endorse the event.

She reached out and slowly ran her fingers down the curve of Kim's back. Her skin was soft and warm and she could feel the sight difference in texture where her ink lay. A smile grew across her face but she froze suddenly as Kim began to stir and realised that she'd woken her up. _Damn_, she hadn't meant to do that. Kim hadn't been sleeping well and needed all the rest that she could get. And besides, she would have been quite happy to lay there staring at the beautiful colours and designs on her skin for another hour or so.

Slowly Kim began to turn over and Alex started to panic. She knew she wasn't the only one who might be feeling a pang of guilt. What if Kim felt they'd made a mistake? She felt so nervous all of a sudden. Kim was the closest friend she'd had in years, what if she lost her over their night together?

Kim's tired eyes opened. The tiniest hint of a smile crossed her face.

"Hi," she whispered.

Nervously Alex smiled back.

"Hello," she said quietly.

They both lay there in silence, just staring at each other, for whet felt like an absolute eternity, each longing for the other to speak first. Alex could see in Kim's eyes that she felt the same worries and the same fears She wanted to speak, she wanted to reassure her, but her own worries were too strong to be the one to speak first. Luckily for Alex, Kim found the courage to tell her,

"_I don't regret it."_

Her words were sincere, if nervous; accompanied by a smile that warmed Alex inside, all the way through her body. It travelled from her throat, all the way down to her stomach where it spread out in all directions, warming through her limbs, bringing a flush to her cheeks. Her face broke into a slightly nervous smile.

"_Neither do I,"_ she whispered. She saw Kim's hand pressed flat against the pillow and laid her own hand out over it. Her action seemed to have a powerful effect on Kim who turned shy quite instantaneously, glancing away coyly as she blushed red across her cheeks. Her smile became broader but nervy as she looked down, a little afraid to meet Alex's eye.

"I was so scared you would regret it in the morning," she whispered.

Alex shook her head slowly.

"I only would if you did," she told her, "if you regretted it and we'd ruined our friendship, that would be different. But now I know you don't…" she squeezed Kim's hand a little. "I don't regret it."

Kim's eyes rose to meet hers again. She seemed a little less nervous now but still coy as she admitted,

"Shit, I've thought about that for… for _years."_

"Really?" Alex asked in genuine surprise.

Kim nodded.

"I always liked you," she admitted very quietly and her cheeks burned a deeper shade of red. She wasn't sure she should be saying this, especially early in the morning when she felt so exhausted that her filter wasn't working properly to censor her words. She hoped she wasn't going to say anything to make Alex feel uncomfortable. "Back in the other world. Back in the nineties. I was just a kid back then though."

"You were _far_ from a kid," Alex assured her.

"That was how you all saw me though," Kim said quietly. It would have been fair enough, her behaviour in the early days was pretty childish.

"No, Kim, not at all," Alex promised her, "you were a scared young woman. You had a lot to deal with. And I know it's not easy, waking up in a strange world, not knowing how you got there or who to trust or how to get home. I've been there too, remember."

They found their fingers slowly locking together and both focused their eyes on their joined hands. It was warming; comforting. Their closeness meant that it didn't feel uncomfortable or unnatural in any way. They could both see for certain that the previous night hadn't been some scummy, over-sexed night of cheap thrills. It was a surprising but natural progression from a bond than ran so deep, much deeper than a normal friendship. The things they had both been through had assured them of that.

"But I always did have a… a bit of a crush on you," Kim admitted. She closed her eyes and laughed a little at herself, looking back to her days in Gene's world. "God, I did everything I could to keep that hidden, I felt like such a cliché, falling for the attractive, older woman."

"Oh _shoosh,"_ Alex blushed. She sometimes found it hard to take compliments, especially when they didn't come from Gene. She was used to comments about 'not scrubbing up too badly' and 'still having a cracking pair on her'. Those were Gene's turns of phrase and she secretly loved to hear them as much as she jokingly chastised him for it. But hearing a compliment like that from somebody else made her blush and brought a nervous smile to her face.

"And then you got the Scully haircut," Kim recalled wistfully, "which, let's face it, wasn't exactly doing my crush any favours." she felt her cheeks throbbing with heat as she recalled the day that Alex arrived in the office with her new haircut. She wasn't sure what words came out of her mouth but she would have been surprised if it sounded more intelligible than _bluuurghuuughuughuur. _

"I'm really quite surprised," Alex told her, trying not to show quite how flattered she felt.

"I was terrified of being found out," Kim admitted.

"Why?"

Kim bit her lip. It was a habit she'd picked up from Robin and one she couldn't get rid of.

"I had a reputation to protect," she said with a slight smile, I wasn't supposed to have _crushes_, was I? I was supposed to be out throwing lager down my neck, wearing clunky boots and shoving metal through every body part.

"Not quite _every_ body part," Alex felt herself blush as the words slipped out before she could stop them.

Kim didn't seem to mind.

"I felt like an idiot," she said, "with a stupid schoolgirl crush."

"You were hardly a schoolgirl," Alex smiled distantly. She found herself reaching forward and running her freehand very softly across Kim's shoulder, "you were very quick to deny it in truth or dare."

"Cover-up in progress," Kim blushed.

"I thought it was supposed to be _truth_ or dare?" Alex reminded her.

"That's the normal version," Kim explained, "My version is called _Truth, Unless I Don't Want To Tell You It."_

"You forgot the dare part of the equation," Alex commented, a particular dare coming back to her. Kim turned her head slightly to bury her face in the pillow.

"Oh _God_, not that," she groaned, "I just about died on the spot when Simon told me to kiss you."

!"I didn't mind," Alex told her quietly. The fact that there was a slightly nervous smile on Alex's face set Kim's mind a little to rest and sent stirrings through her lower regions. She tried to ignore them, it was one night. That's all it was supposed to have been.

"I'm fairly sure I was supposed to have been on pelvic rest, you know," Kim said slightly awkwardly, not sure whether she was providing Alex with too much information but Alex didn't seem fazed.

"Did the doctors tell you that you weren't allowed to," she cleared her throat, "_enjoy yourself?"_

"Not in so many words," Kim blushed, "but since my partner was lying in a coma, I expect they supposed I wasn't going to be doing much."

That thought made Alex want to giggle anxiously somehow but she held it back. She supposed it wouldn't have exactly been tactful. She did feel a little nervous though.

"You are feeling OK though?" she asked, "aren't you?"

Kim nodded.

"I'm fine," she said.

"And the bleeding stopped a while ago?"

"Ma'am stop fussing, I'm fine," Kim tried to admonish her for worrying too much but it was difficult when she found herself appreciating it. It felt nice to have someone looking after her. That was something that she really missed, especially in her condition. All the time they'd been trying, Robin had promised Kim how well he was going to look after her if they were lucky enough for her to fall pregnant again. And now that she'd found out she was, Robin was in a serious condition in hospital; his body still and lifeless and his soul a world away.

Alex had to admit she felt a little guilty as she realised that Kim should quite possibly have steered well clear from the kind of activity they had indulged in the night before.

"You should probably rest today," she told her.

"Oh, _bollocks_ I should," Kim wasn't very good at taking care of herself, "I should get up –"

As Kim began to sit up Alex quickly held her arm and pulled her back down which confused her for a moment and left her unsure whether to argue or laugh.

"No," Alex told her, "you've been running around looking after me from the moment I woke up, let me return the favour." She saw Kim looking a little reluctant. She knew she was a terrible patient and didn't know when to stop and rest. "At least for one day," Alex offered. She paused. "What would Robin say if he thought I wasn't looking after you for him?"

Kim looked a little guilty.

"What would he say of he knew you'd been looking after me a little…" she coughed, "…_too well?"_

Oh dear. The guilt was back. Alex knew that if she ever found her way home she would gave a lot of explaining to do, and if Robin woke up then so would Kim.

"What are you going to tell him?" she asked quietly.

Kim's slight smile was distant and ha a tinge of sadness.

"I just hope I'll get the opportunity to tell him anything at all," she said quietly. She closed her eyes and found herself moving closer to Alex, snuggling against her which surprised them both. "I think," she whispered, "that he might understand." She felt herself choking up a little as she whispered, "he knows what it's like to be the one left behind."

The sadness on Kim's face almost broke Alex's heart in two. She reached out and wrapped her arm around Kim to offer her even just a little comfort, closing her eyes as their foreheads rested against one another.

"He'll come home," she whispered.

"He might not want to," Kim said quietly.

"How could he _not?"_ Alex whispered. She could feel _things_ stirring inside her again. What was the _matter_ with her? This was a fine old time for her libido to return, wasn't it? She tried to push it to one side and reminded herself that Kim probably wasn't supposed to be indulging in such activities. Not that it stopped her the night before. Silence fell for a few moments as they lay together until finally Kim asked;

"What about Gene?" their eyes opened and met as she asked awkwardly, "what are you going to tell him?"

Alex let out her breath slowly. She didn't really have a lot of choice.

"The truth," she said eventually, "when the time is right," she paused, "if I get home."

"How do you think he'll take it?" Kim asked nervously.

"He's not going to come hurtling through time to rip out your piercings if that's what you're worried about," Alex teased gently. She saw Kim smile nervously but she was clearly concerned. "Kim," she said quietly, "I don't know how he'll take it. But it's still not going to make me regret this, no matter what he says." She felt a bond with Kim that she couldn't remember being lucky enough to have in her life before with anyone but Gene and she'd certainly never felt that way about another woman before. Except maybe for Scully when she watched The X Files, but then that went for about 90% of the human race. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones? Or maybe because she'd learned to regret the chances she didn't take more than the ones she took.

"What are you thinking?"

Kim's words drew her out of her deep thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You looked miles away," Kim told her.

Alex's smile was a little nervous.

"No," she said quietly, "my head is right here." She looked at Kim seriously. She'd spent three months without warmth, affection or intimacy. The previous night had shown her what she had missed so much and it wasn't enough. She wanted more. "Right here in bed. That's where we're going to stay," she brushed the hair from her face as it masked her view of Kim. "Just for today. Let's just forget everything else. Let's stay right here."

Kim looked at her nervously at first. She knew that the night before had been one of the most special of her life and she was never going to forget it, not for a, moment. But she was worried by how much she wanted more. She'd been lonely and scared ever since Robin was shot and in Alex she found warmth, love, comfort and strength. Perhaps that was what she needed to her restore her fight. Meeting Alex's gaze she smiled a little anxiously and nodded.

"Bed," she said.

The smile on Alex's face broadened with relief.

"Bed," she agreed.


End file.
